My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
