Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
