i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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