Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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