There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
