How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize