do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
