it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
