jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
