people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
