My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
