Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
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This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
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I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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