The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize