I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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