It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
