I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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