babies were throwing up all over the place
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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