Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
