Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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