On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
