yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
