Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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