If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I am one with the molecules
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize