Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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