I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
