I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
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She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
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Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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