think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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