she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
