every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
