check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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