Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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