just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
