I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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