OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
