she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
