i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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