I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
