Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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