Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
