How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
