I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
