I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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