there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize