Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
