if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
