home. puking in laundry basket.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Randomize
