Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
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I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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