No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
