my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
