I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
