marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
