how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
