Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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