4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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