I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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