Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
so let's talk penis.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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