Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize