You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
