girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
