just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
