Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
