guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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